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about

Parody of "All of Me" by John Legend

lyrics

How can I snooze without free airways?
Weeds in the breeze mean I’m sneezing for days
Think it’s been twenty, that’s plenty
Since I felt okay

I know what’s wrong, it’s immune overdrive
Body’s just working to keep me alive
But it’s too eager
So I’m beleaguered
And quite sleep deprived

My bed’s full of watery discharge, thanks nose
More laundry to do, since this is gross

These allergies mean more achoos
Also coughs and tears and headaches
I don’t start to drool when bread bakes
And these allergies
Should get all the boos
Got me runny-nosed and ranty
As for histamines, I’m anti
Yup I have allergies
And I go ah-ah-ah ah-choo

How many pills do I have to ingest
To not think I’m dying from phlegm in my chest?
Open mouthed breathing looks dumb
But don’t judge, I’m doing my best
Won’t go outdoors if I can
But then the dust comes and spoils my plan
I can’t stop sneezing, my Kleenex
Are in the trash can

They’re wet from nose water and can’t be used more
I have to go find another store

Cause allergies mean ah-ah-choo
And I sneezed on little children
Now I’m shunned like I’m a villain
And my allergies
Should still get all the boos
Stuck in bed while nose is running
Sinuses are su-per stuffy
I still have allergies
And I go ah-ah-ah-ah choo

So much ah-ah choo

Argh this is painful my throat’s swollen, still.
Wish I had germs I could kill

Cause allergies
Means my immune
System’s what the kids call extra
Sneezing’s really got me messed up
Take my allergies
And I’ll feel bad for you
But I’d never share with people
Even if I could, it’s evil
To give you my allergies
And all of these ah-ah-ah ah choos

I hate these allergies
And all these ah ah ah ah choos

credits

from Breaking Chairs of Grizzly Bears, released September 2, 2021

license

all rights reserved

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about

Ethan Mawyer New York, New York

Comedy/parody lyricist. I also write books.

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